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101 Things I Hate About Your House™ points out challenges and offers solutions.  The obvious fix for substandard pillows in any room of the house is to invest in new while ditching the old.  Below you’ll find two great sources.  You’ll sleep much better and so will your guests.

“Dear Warden of the Weary, take note and act accordingly.  As unique as are the prints on our fingers so too are our perceptions of comfort when considering a pillow for sleep.  Some find noteworthy the attributes of granite when contemplating on what to rest their head.  Others dream the dreams of Princes only on the loftiest of Eider clouds and for every sleepy-head in-between there is a preference, oh-so personal.  In an artful attempt to cover all bases, cradle all heads and bring peace to the hinterlands the hotelier’s recommendation is simple and to the point.

Much as Jehovah has wisely worked the concept of “Trinity” so too will your chamber of hospitality draw divine benefit from the divisor of three.  Cover the spectrum from soft to hard and allow your guests to mix, mingle or manhandle a level of firmness all their own.  They will love you in the morning.”

Here are two great sources for glorious pillows:

Royal Pillow

Cuddledown

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101 Things I Hate About Your House™ dusts off the welcome mat and swings wide the door for house guests……

“Guest Bedroom and Bath: “Guests are Like Fish…”

There are certain realities in life that require level-headed acceptance and fortified preparation.  Death, taxes and houseguests round off the top of my list.  With the first there can be (pray to all the gods) a long lead up to a sudden finality (my preference) that is neither negotiable nor transferable.  Taxes, like cockroaches and certain pop songstresses, never actually go away; the anticipation of their next apparition simply fuels sleepless nights.

With houseguest we have the inverse of death whereby with great suddenness you are inflicted and then rendered slave to a lingering eternity (hell?) of invectives parading through your home in the guise of social pleasantries.  Benjamin Franklin once said that “Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.”

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In “101 Things I Hate About Your House™” we talk trash about waisted space.

“Stiff When It Shouldn’t Be

Let’s cut to the chase, Dear Dazed Reader.  It’s all about real estate.  How much do you have and how do you choose to use it?  If your casa bares uncanny resemblance to the Villa Borghese then you’ve got real estate-a-plenty and could allocate a formal room for every erratic swing of a Gemini’s mood.

Few of us suffer from the tedious options inflicted by acres of space.  So why waste what you have?  Silly, bordering on stupid are rooms filled with preciously poised furniture that hasn’t felt the weight of a firm (mine) or flabby (not mine) ass since Ms. Streisand herself flashed the movie honoring world through a veil of lightly draped black organza.”

A Better Plan

Do you have a room that you don’t use?  A formal living room that only sees guests on Christmas?  Time to think outside the box.  Make the space a family library; add chic shelves, comfortable upholstery, good lighting and maybe a desk.  Us the space as a family desk/study area.  The goal is go arrange the space so it gets use on a daily basis.  Now that would be beautiful.

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Much like the little game of “hide the waste can” we played in the powder room in the kitchen we move up to the major leagues.  In today’s kitchen we have trash; we have wet trash; dry trash; compostable trash; recyclable trash; re-fundable trash and bio-degradable trash.

We have (with good intention and growing accountability) created new industries around the handling of trash but we are often ill prepared to manage the point of origin; our own kitchens.  Gone are the days when “the trash” was under the kitchen sink.  Today you need a 10’ run of cabinetry if you are to successfully “cabinet-ize” trash storage.  If you’re not ready to remodel your kitchen, making it trash coordination central, then you need to put plan “B” in place which allows you to be responsible but falls short of filling all available kitchen and laundry room floor space with blue recycling bins.  This arrangement can be fun for the kids and dogs but a disaster for anyone over 40” tall.”

If you’re looking for solutions to the trash problem in your house; try Recycling Products and Amazing Recycled Products.  Neither raise the bar on elegance or glamor but they do deliver practical products to help sort the mess from the rest.

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“Be a kid at heart” is an admonition that rings true for young and old alike.  The young can’t imagine being any other way and the old are determined to keep the bounce in their head and heart for as long as is possible.  What picture of childhood is complete without toys littering ground as far as the eye can see?  Toys sparkle and intrigue allowing their owner to fudge reality and, for a moment, align themselves with this beautifully packaged diversion.  Toys are not allocated just to children as a glance at some mega-kitchens will prove.  Do you really need that Gelato maker?  A Cappuccino machine? A bread maker?

I’m enthralled with the thought of a kitchen filled to the brim with tools necessary for creating joyful memories.  I’m much less fond of a kitchen that has become a grave-yard for obsolete adult toys.  Keep it young but keep it real.”

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In “101 Things I Hate About Your House™” we dig into the kitchen a bit further…

“Pardon Madame but Your Slip Is Showing

Dear Fair Reader, simply put if it’s fabric (“A material that resembles cloth” which Webster goes on to define as “a pliable material made usually by weaving, felting, or knitting natural or synthetic fibers and filaments”) then it’s only place in the kitchen is as a beautifully woven, possibly monogrammed tea towel.

You would no more set up a hot-plate or deep-fryer in your walk-in closet than you would light a match to your wardrobe so why would you go to all the trouble to hang equally valuable fabric anywhere in your kitchen and have any expectation other than its complete and total destruction.  Unless you don’t cook and wish your kitchen to look like a set-piece I highly recommend avoiding the uses of fabric anywhere near your food preparation area.”

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From “101 Things I Hate About Your House™”:

Since we’re speaking of kitchens…..

“When Too Much is Too Much

There may be a segment of those reading this book, Dear Readers of Ribaldry, for whom my next statement will be scandalous.  Humor me and resist the temptation of chucking the text into the nearest open fire.  Together we can get through this; I promise.  There are times when it’s just too big.

If you are still reading these words it means you have not sent this tome into the flames and I’m free to illustrate my point by sharing a few salient observations:

-consider most anything on the menu at our nations fast food establishments.  When did we decide that a 1500 calorie hamburger was something anyone actually needs to consume?  Ditto for those 32 oz. sugar laden sodas?  I like a good hamburger from time to time but 1500 calories?  Absolutely not.

-we all know someone whose svelte frame elicits expletives from friends and strangers alike.  We also know those who weigh in at the opposite end of the scale and maintain proprietary control of those same expletives for their personal use.  As one born, so it seems, naturally braced for the struggle over my middle I know the pain.  I also understand roll of the dice played daily with the lives of our young women and men when we overly aggrandize the inhumane wasting that, from time to time, ensnares our young celebri-tants.  Far too high a price to pay, in my opinion, just to be photographed in a size “less-than-zero”!  And getting back to my point;  the other end of the scale, whether viewed on a celebrity, our neighbor or someone even closer is an equally dangerous proposition.

-when considering things that have become too large it would be foolish to ignore the current financial meltdown. Interwoven with the unraveling of major corporations we find a phrase used to describing the behemoths we’ve put so much stock into suddenly finding we’ve grown bloated in our own belief that they are “too big to fail”.  Wrong.  Bigger doesn’t seem like such a great idea any more. Which also applies to kitchens that require guide maps, direction signs and landing lights…well you get the point.”

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In the soon to be published book “101 Things I Hate About Your House™” I feel strongly about the place of the kitchen in the home of today.

“And Behind Door Number One

Dear Ferreter of the Fashionable, Oh Lady/Lad of Luxury tell me truly, when last did you make an entrance at a very important function (Brava) followed by a skillful stroll thought the crowd only to arrive at the center of the room and begin stripping off your over-priced yet highly prized couture.  Heals, handbag, hose and more….all slung on the floor exposing for the world to see the  minor “helpers” used to pull your great look together (duck tape, underwire, support tops, optical mirrors..etc.).

“Well I never”, would be the correct response to this crazy suggestion; however think about this:  Doesn’t the same thing happen when you entertain in your home and you toss open the heart of the house (fount of all secrets and surprises), otherwise known as the kitchen, for the entire world to see.

Yes salmon swim up stream, and I am certain a svelte figure is a happy by-product of their determination which is much how I feel when voicing thoughts on this subject (pray to the Gods of Thunder that I’m cursed with that svelte problem).  The wide laborious stream of populous opinion seems poised to deposit the kitchen of today into the middle of the entry hall.  If I want to greet my guests from a perch at my Hans Grohe accented sink I could just as easily ask them to use the back door and be done with the formalities.  I could also ask them to bring their own folding chair and a box of their favorite wine.  Odds are these things won’t happen.”

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In the soon to be published book “101 Things I Hate About Your House™ ” we look at the pressing problem of no space in the kitchen and we learn that:

“Size Matters

To Dwellers of The City I tip my hat. Forced by the facts of city life, which read like a Lilliputian Manifesto, they make miracles happen from kitchens no larger than closets.  It’s one thing to have no counter-space because there are no cabinets on which to deposit said counters it is another thing entirely when blessed with the possibility of space you squander it on thoughtless layouts and silly toys and gadgets.

The complete absence of space does give rise to the most creative solutions imaginable. City Dwellers divide and conquer, divide again, only to have to conquer again this time partially in the coat closet and partially in the guest bath’s claw-foot bathtub… but damn-it they conquer.

Recently, while hovering near the “terrace” (i.e. fire-escape) in a dear friend’s mid-town masterpiece (i.e. Jr. Studio awash with mirrors) I was dumb struck (and that, Kittens of Copious Consumption, doesn’t happen often) by the contortions going on in the kitchen/guest closet/wrapping room.

Teetering on a killer Manolo heel (yes, one), my hostess was balancing a tray of recently toasted brioche in one hand, while scanning a text message on her mobile, which was commandingly perched on top of her teeny-tiny-but-definitely-not-under-the-counter refrigerator (think eyelash-level), while reaching for the freshly-topped Olive and Anchovy Topinad with the other hand.

Her lone free and fabulously shod foot had just kicked closed the oven door (from whence the brioche came) and was flying toward me at an alarming speed in an attempt to prevent the empty tumbler, launched from the lecherous paws of a party “crasher” as he reached for the fetchingly fit fanny of some Upper West Side ad-executive, from shattering on the stone entry floor (one 12 x 12 tile really doesn’t an entry hall make).

However, after that nifty save, this hostess has a buy from me for just about anything. Remarkably the Tumbler (Grannies Baccarat) and the free flying Manolo both survived without a dint, ding or chip. Praise be!”

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101 Things I Hate About Your House™

From our Facebook friend Diana “One of my pet peeves is friends with children who allow kid stuff all over their home.”

Thanks Diana.  And our thoughts from our soon to be published book:

“Toys for Tot’s of All Species

Whether your Tot’s have two legs or four; it is a given that they will have copious amounts of toys with which to entertain themselves.  Do not panic, this is normal — not always desirable, but certainly normal.  Many things happen at the moment of homo-sapien birth.  There’s all that pain and mess, screaming and crying, laughter and, of course, joy.  There is also a mental shift which empowers parents to be solely focused on the little bundle of joy at the expense of everything or everyone else in the world.  It is as nature wants it; this myopic life view for the next few months will decide if that little bundle of joy will turn out to the a Nobel Peace Prize-winner or a serial murderer.  So parents, please be myopic.  This is your chance to get it right; and part of getting it right is planning so you have the best chance for success. One of the most important things to plan is where you are going to store the mountains paraphernalia required to keep your little one engaged and away from power outlets, large machinery and chemical storehouses.  The Room of Family is a logical destination so let’s anticipate storage needs before they press upon us in an unsightly manner.  Boxes, baskets and hampers of all shapes and sizes tend to be the easy and best options.  Purchase these containers by the gross ’cause you know all your friends and in-laws will be doing the same with toys and trinkets and such. Built-ins are great if you’ve thought that far ahead, Dear Makers of Babies.  Ottomans with hinged tops can quickly become your best friend.  Train the little one, like you will train yourself, to keep the room tidy by utilizing these storage options.  The Family Room will benefit as will your sanity.”

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101 Things I Hate About Your House™  let’s us take a look at things in our homes that just don’t work.  We first laugh a little and then we roll up your sleeves and set to work making your home a bit more beautiful.  It doesn’t take much.  A good start would be a simple cocoa mat at your front door.  Practical, effective and a good way to say to guests that you care about your home.

“Wipe Your Feet, Silly
The goal is a gentle wash of light at the front door of your home.  This glow should cast a lovely pool of light on the cocoa mat resting on the entry step on which your more socially adept acquaintances will wipe their feet.  Remember, the more dirt you keep out the less dirt that gets in.  Also, with a mat at the door your guests are more likely to pause a moment or two while they wipe the mud off their shoes (you know, the mud from their Riverdance through the flower bed caused by the blinding lights). This gives them time to stare through the clear glass panels on the front door and watch you run around the house in your bra and panties, chasing the dogs and children while you comb out your hair.”

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A shout-out to our friend Uwe who wrote to us yesterday “and what about the people that clearly don’t have a mirror in their entry way..”

Here’s something on that subject from the first chapter of the soon to be published book “101 Things I Hate About Your House”. (thanks to West County Camera for the great image)

“Who’s the Fairest?

Once the door to your home is flung wide to welcome your nearest and dearest and they have scraped mud off their feet and allowed a moment or two for retinal healing to take place it’s time for the real game of The Hostess with the Mostest to begin.  “My kingdom for a mirror” is a cry bouncing around in my head as I scan the walls of the halls of entry (be they sizable or small) hoping for a little help. Wind, rain or a treacherous seat belt can put an end to even the best hair days. Is it too much to expect a simply framed, mercury coated, plate glass reflective panel artfully hung in a friendly way? You know, something that reminds the visitor “before you walk into the crowd just around the corner you may want to fix that birds-nest of a ‘do’ teetering on your forehead!”  Or, the even more intimate suggestion that hints “although we love you dearly we fear that children and elderly will be spooked by those false eyelashes masquerading as earrings.”  A casual glance in a mirror (that tool of vanity we thank the warlords of Dynastic China for) can either send you boldly into the social fray without a worry in the world or cause your fingers to speed-dial a hair and makeup rescue team from the nearest beauty emporium.”

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“101 Things I Hate About Your House” brings big and small “things” to the table.  We get to laugh about the things we hate about our homes…and the homes of our friends and neighbors.  Then, together, we get to make things more beautiful!

“Curs-ed be the Bulbs that Blind

While we are working on the all important first impression let’s pause for a moment, Dear Home Improvement Honey, to consider the brutal level of light emanating from the lanterns hanging near your front door.  When did Escape from Alcatraz become the inspiration for light levels outside our homes?  What part of a prison yard do we find attractive? Blazing bare bulbs so dispassionately placed so that the light emitted would force visitors to confess to any manner of crimes are not just ugly they are dangerous. How many flower beds have I stumbled into while shielding my eyes from a painfully incancandescent glare?  More importantly, how many pair of gorgeous leather shoes has been sent to the dust bin with huge gouges torn from the toe when a step is misjudged because of the Klieg lights aimed at my eyes?   Consider a bit of etching or frosting of the glass on the lantern or simply reduce the wattage and purchase frosted bulbs. You are not illuminating the neighborhood, providing landing guidance for large aircraft, or testing the viability of night growth in suburban shrubbery.”

Two things to keep in mind when you’re gazing into blinding lights and groping your way to your front door.

1.  Keep the wattage low.  Exterior light bulbs should be kept to no more than 60 watts.  Personally I prefer 40 and always a frosted bulb.  No yellow (bug) lights. Ever.  Remember you’re not reading…you just need to wash the entry with soft light.

2.  Frosted/etched glass is a must.  Clear glass on exterior fixtures is never a good idea.  Exterior fixtures, whether traditional or contemporary should always have frosted or etched glass.

Now that’s more beautiful.

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101 Things I Hate About Your House™ is a walking tour of “everyman’s (woman’s) home.  Along the way we pause and comment on what is working and what might require some attention.  In today’s excerpt we gaze longingly at the door of entry and ponder the question, “Why?”

“So now, the question is what exactly is the impression your home makes during those important first nano-seconds?  Does “sleek and sophisticated” quickly come to mind?  How about: “warm and inviting,” “relaxed and casual,” or, Decorating Gods forbid, “nuclear devastation?”

1. Hello Gorgeous

Nothing screams “Dreary Little Mess” quite like a front door masquerading as last winter’s snow tires. Does the word “maintenance” mean anything to anyone?  All paint was new, once.  So how does your specially mixed “Nantucket Dew” look today?  Have the kids, the dogs, and Mother Nature taken their best shots and won?  The not so subtle suggestions might read something like: Clean it up! Wipe it down! Patch it, paint it, stain it, wax it, but just get the door to your home speaking a civilized language that’s perfectly synchronized with the impression you wish to make.  That is, unless white-trash-travesty is what you had in mind and if that’s the case just set the book down (preferably where someone else will find it and reap the rewards of its wisdom) and find a cliff suitable for jumping.”

The problem is real and the solution falls into three categories.   Select which (all?) apply to your Door of Entry:

-Clean It.  This might be as simple as sweeping and removing some clutter or, as seen in our readers picture today, it might mean some heavy lifting.  Role up your sleeves and get to work.

-Paint It.  If the paint is scratched and chipping now would be the time to paint the door, door frame and maybe the entire entry.  Of all the decorating solutions nothing will change the look and feel of your home faster and more economically than new paint.

-Style It.  With a clean slate and a fresh coat of paint your entry (big, small, interior or exterior) is ready for a few graceful, beautiful touches.  Sometimes this means a big, beautiful potted plant, a prop piece (bench, rocking chair, plant stand..etc.) and some form of lighting.  Study neighbors who have welcoming entries, scan magazines and books and make a start of it.  You can always add, edit and adjust until you have something that makes you smile.

Now get to work!

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As I’ve written the book “101 Things I Hate About Your House” I’ve had many interesting stories shared with me.  From people hating when asked to remove their shoes in a friends home to those complaining about sore behinds from the most uncomfortable dining chairs known to mankind.  But usually they balance their rants with some redeeming quality of the house or the owners personality.  It’s a breathe of fresh air to know that despite the impediments to beautiful living they still prize the friendship above all else.

Then I get a note that says “I hate everything about his apartment”.  Attached is a photo and, well what can I say.  I hope his personality is a dazzler and that the sex is amazing…cause there’s nothing here that would cause anyone to willingly return!  Ever.

When faced with challenges I enjoy offering fun, chic and hopefully inexpensive solutions to our readers decorating quandaries and disagreements.  You might agree today that only a dumpster and a demolition crew can help this!

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101 Things I Hate About Your House™ is the title of our soon to be published book.  We’re asking our readers to share the things they hate the most about their home or about their friend’s or neighbor’s homes.

Here’s something we just can’t stand:

Naked Windows.  Ugly, unfinished, exposed, cold and looking like giant black eyes (at night) staring back at you.  Makes me want to run screaming into the street.  It’s cool if your in process.  Drapery doesn’t happen overnight, I get it.  But have a plan; take it one step at a time.  Simple roller shades, shear roman shades even simple cafe curtains can be an inexpensive way to start.  Then build from there with over-drapes, valances, stationary panels; whatever your plan requires.

Yes, it’s an investment but you won’t be disappointed.

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101 Things I Hate About Your House™ is the title of our new book.  Still doing the dance with the publishing world to get it into print.  Stay tuned for news on that.  We will give a big shout out once we have a print date.

Until then I thought it would be fun to begin a conversation with our friends about the things they hate about their own homes.  We all have something we wish we could change; that thing(s) that doesn’t work the way we wish or doesn’t look the way we’d like.  Maybe it’s our friend or neighbors house we’d really like to sound off about….well here’s your chance.  Tell us what you hate about your house and we’ll fire back with fun, cool and inexpensive solutions to make your home more beautiful.

Yesterday I mentioned lighting as one of my big “hates”.  Walking into a house with lights glaring in my face, bare bulbs and thousands of watts of light abusing my eyes really makes me crazy.  So here are three easy solutions to make the lighting in any room more beautiful:

1.  Install dimmers.  Click on this link and look at a selection of wall dimmers AND lamp dimmers.  Your local hardware store carries these.  They don’t cost must money and you can usually install them yourself (read and follow the instructions).

2.  Banish Bare Bulbs.  Nothing is more ugly or harsh than a bare bulb whether found on a lamp, sconce or chandelier. You can find ready made shades or custom shades depending on your budget.  Retailers can be found in most communities or you can find them online.  One of my favorite sources for little chandelier shades is Ballard Designs.  Check out their many fabric options.  And remember;  by shading bare bulbs you will instantly make any room more beautiful!

3.  Pressed for time but want to soften the lighting in a room?  My favorite quick fix is to purchase pink bulbs.  They give off the softest light that makes everyone look great.  Use them in reading lamps, sconces and chandeliers.  You and your guests will enjoy looking your best and all you will have done is change a few bulbs!

So what do you hate about your house?

Send us a note and let us help you make your home more beautiful with smart, fun and cool ideas.

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Okay.  We’re kicking off a new focus here at DesignQuotient.com.

I’m excited to announce our soon to be published book  ”101 Things I Hate About Your House™”  I know, can’t help but laugh, right.  Everyone here is giggling over the title.  I’m laughing about the content which will be packed with things we hate…and fun, cool and practical ideas to make things more beautiful

Now we want to hear from you.  Write and tell us what you hate about your house…or your friends or neighbors!  We’ll find fun, inexpensive solutions to make those spaces more beautiful.

Off the top of my head….I hate bad lighting.  Since when does over-lighting say welcome!  If a light or lamp isn’t on a dimmer….there’s something wrong.

Now it’s your turn.  Write and tell us what you hate about your house….or about your friend or neighbors house.  Nothing’s perfect and we want to know what just doesn’t work for you.

Watch for a new on-line promotion where you can win great free things by submitting the “things you hate about your house”.

We’re still all about Smart-Design-Daily