Worst Possible Holiday Gift Collection

“If instead of a gem, or even a flower, we should cast the gift of a loving thought into the heart of a friend; that would be giving as the angels give.” ~George MacDonald

Gift giving is an art. When practiced and perfected it is an art form which elevates the spirit and nurtures the soul. When handled haphazardly it can do the damage equal to a small bundle of explosives leaving the recipient crippled and deformed.

Never are the damaging results of errant giving more obvious than in the Re-Gifting arena. For those living under a rock for the past dozen years Re-gifting is the redirection of a received gift which, for a variety of reasons, we deem unsuitable or undesirable. While the merits of re-gifting can be debated there are some clear rules of the game as noted in MP Dunleavey’s MSN column “12 Rules for Regifting without Fear”. Read the rules, follow the directions and you may be invited back to next years holiday party after all.

Unless all your holiday giving is done under the auspices of a local White Elephant I highly recommend you avoid today’s collection of gifts that should never be re-gifted; they are just so wrong that no amount of pretense will every make them acceptable. Should you receive one I suggest either burning or burring; but don’t forget to send a thank you note!

See you tomorrow with the next installment of our Worst Holiday Gifts Collection.Love Yourself; Love Your House

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Worst Possible Holiday Gift Collection Part 4

“I asked a man in prison once how he happened to be there and he said he had stolen a pair of shoes. I told him if he had stolen a railroad he would be a United States Senator.” Mary Harris Jones

It has been my belief that the discussion of beauty precludes the discussion ofpolitics and Ms. Jones’ quote, while offering dazzling temptation, reinforces my resolve to avoid the frivolities of national governance and focus squarely on issues of real importance.

Ladies, I must beg your assistance today. Being a card-carrying, out, proud and generally fabulous gay man; one who totes around his fair share of aesthetic acuity, I am at a loss. I was recently told that a dear female friend had only one wish on her holiday list; that for a pair of a certain creative savant’s footwear. Not being one to shy away from a store front I boldly entered this startlingly chic establishment only to be stopped dead in my tracks. Evidently my gay genes weren’t downloaded with the language of the shoe or at least not this very specialized dialect. I suddenly felt like a brick layer at the Tower of Babel (biblical reference; try Google); lost, clueless and slightly annoyed. Fortunately my feet knew what to do when panic freezes my brain; retreat! So from the safety of my sofa I reach out today on behalf of the pitiful few who, crippled by genetic cruelty, can’t discern the haute from the humorous.

See you tomorrow with the next installment of our Worst Holiday Gifts Collection.

Love Yourself; Love Your House

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Worst Possible Holiday Gift Collection Part 3

“I notice increasing reluctance on the part of marketing executives to use judgment; they are coming to rely too much on research, and they use it as a drunkard uses a lamp post for support, rather than for illumination.” David Ogilvy

When a defining image is linked irrevocably to an annual celebration the reoccurring association is powerful and permanent. And so, the “Leg Lamp” from Bob Clark’s circa 1940 holiday delight “A Christmas Story” is forever cemented in the celebratory muck of Christmas. While having nothing to do with holiday giving the illuminating nature of this prize to end all prizes lingers, blurring itself into the fabric of Christmas as certainly as Santa and a Red Ryder BB gun. So close, in fact, is the luminous association that I’ve had clients actually shop for just the right table lamp with which to surprise a loved one on festive Christmas morn. If a loved one of mine gifted me with a lamp for Christmas they would require surgical assistance for its removal, but that’s a different Christmas story entirely.

To head off the stampede of lamp buying madness during the countdown-to-Christmas days I’ve wrangled together a motley crew of cagey, creepy and colossally ugly table lamps you’ll want to avoid on your final shopping sprees!

See you tomorrow with the next installment of our Worst Holiday Gifts Collection.

Love Yourself; Love Your House

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“I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.” Stephen Wright

Worst Possible Holiday Gift Collection Part 2

There was a day when the thought of an elegantly wrapped gift box from a prominent jeweler would cause the heart to race with delight. And while an out-of-control cardio-vascular spasm may still accompany the sight of a dazzling red box (or dusty blue..etc.) it maybe for very different reasons. And while we’ll save our list of the worst holiday jewelry for another day; today we’ll cast a wary glace at other bejeweled blunders brought to us by timely craftsmen from around the world. So with shock and awe we look today at our Worst Holiday Gift Collection: Heart Stopping Timepieces.

See you tomorrow with the next installment of our Worst Holiday Gifts Collection.

Love Yourself; Love Your House

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And Now For Something Completely Different!

With Christmas just 12 days away I’ve decided to try something new as we slip further into that mad, marvelous and giddy holiday spirit!

Each afternoon between now and 24 December I will share with you an installment on the “101 Things I Hate About Your House” Worst Possible Holiday Gift Collection. With categories befitting every room in the house; I’ve scoured the globe for collections of the most hideous, wretched, tacky and tasteless holiday gifts imaginable.

Each afternoon from now until Christmas Eve you’ll find the latest and greatest waiting for you at “101 Things….”

Sadistic elves are certainly to blame for today’s tidal wave of tacky holiday sweaters. Funny, if people didn’t take them so seriously, these tastelessly bereft examples of DIY gone wrong bring tears to the eyes. As we dry your crying eyes let’s pray to the gods of taste and style we’re not saddled with one of these beauties on Christmas morn.

See you tomorrow with the next installment of our Worst Holiday Gifts Collection.

Love Yourself; Love Your House

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Here’s one of my favorite books, new to my bookshelf this year!

Florence de Dampierre French Chic: The Art of Decorating Houses $50.00

“…de Dampierre provides a context of French decorative history…and architectural elements to provide a blueprint to obtain the je ne sais quoi of French chic.” ~New York Living

“…analyzes function and furnishings, leading readers through (de Dampierre’s) house room by room with the help of lyrical photography…” ~Veranda

Don’t miss the fun of “101 Things I Hate About Your House” on our Facebook page

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About Your House‘s series of simple and chic holiday gifts; a little something for every home.

The Newgate Regulator Alarm Clock

This clock has a metal case, hands, fob and stand. The printed dial has been designed to have an aged appearance which is protected by an acrylic lens.  $65.00

Love Yourself: Love Your House

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Next in our series of simple and chic holiday gifts; a little something for every home.

Scented Drawer Liner by Hermes:

Vetiver scented paper, box of 5 papers. Each measures 24″ x 16.5″

Love Yourself; Love Your House!

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The first in a series of simple and chic holiday gifts.

-Perfect Pencils and Cup

These stocking stuffers from See Jane Work will make the recipient’s work space a happier place all year long. Pencils, $7 for a set of 12, and pencil cup, $7, at www.seejanework.com .

Love Yourself; Love Your House

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